Feelings

I've been thinking about something that I'm not even sure if I can verbalize it. I might as well spill out my thoughts onto my blog and see what sticks:

Everything we surround ourselves with, everything in our day-to-day lives has an affect on our feelings. Things, people, animals, food, drink, ... everything only affects how we feel, nothing more.

Let me give an example or two. On my commute to work I drive by some $1 million dollar homes. These homes are incredible to look at. They are absolutely beautiful. I specifically enjoy looking at the entrances to these high-dollar subdivisions. The entrances are colorful and inviting. No costs were spared. I can't help but thinking lately about why the entrances are so beautiful? I mean, they don't provide any real value to anyone, they are just nice to look at. So the only thing I can come up with is that the entrances in all their splendor, make people feel a certain way. We like to look at pretty and expensive things, but why?

Here is another example; the design of cars. You know how some cars you can look at and say outloud, "Wow!"? And then there are others (PT Cruisers for example) that make your stomach a little queasy. Why is that? What does the design of a car really have to do with us. Other than makes us feel a certain way.

What's in a feeling? And the question that I keep pondering is, "Can we change how we feel?" Or should we just be expected to manage around our feelings? Is that even possible?

We spend a lot of money, time and effort on things that only make us feel a certain way. Is that what our lives should be all about?

Abundance

Have you ever worked with someone who tears people down in order to build themselves up? Man, I have and those people just plain suck.

It reminds me of a story of a man that wanted to have the tallest building in his city. His was the second tallest. Rather than figuring out how to make his building taller, he just tore down the tallest building. Same result but much different method.

People like that have a scarcity mindset. They compete with others and use competition exclusively as a measure of their own success. These scarcity people think that there is only so much fortune, success, fame, or recognition to go around .... and they want it all before it dries up.

An alternate mindset is an abundance mindset. Rather than competing against others, people with this mindset use their influence to complete those around them. They realize that fortune, success, fame and recognition are limitless. There is more than enough for everyone.

Success

The Success Symposium in Dallas was incredible! The magazine SUCCESS is relaunching on March 4th and this Symposium was the first kickoff to celebrate. One of the speakers was John Maxwell who is known around the world for his books (45 and counting) on leadership. Below are the notes I took on his talk about success:

Success is 3 things -

1. Knowing your purpose in life - Successful people have figured out why they are here. There are two great moments in ones life - The day we were born and the day we understood why we were born. In order to find your purpose, you need to follow things you are passionate about. Passionate people have energy and are exciting to be around.

2. Knowing what your strengths are - What is your talent, what uniqueness do you have that sets you apart from the pack? From this moment on, stop working on your weaknesses. Quit focusing on things that you are no good at! This advice is freeing for a lot of people! Instead, grow your strengths and grow them everyday.

"The secret of success is determined by your daily agenda." If someone followed you around for an entire day, they would be able to tell how successful you will become by where you spend your time.

3. Sow good seed - Be a river, not a reservoir. Let information flow through you like a river. Always look for opportunities to add value to others. Highly successful people get over themselves so they can reach over and make other people successful.

Greed

I recently heard some troubling news about a guy I used to spend a lot of time with. I wouldn't necessarily call him a friend, because our relationship was more business centered.

About 2 years back I was looking into making a major career change. Rather than quit my job outright, I decided to try out some other jobs first before I jumped into something that may not have been the best fit. So I was working at my day job in the day and spending the evenings with another company learning the ropes. That's where I met Thomas (name changed). Thomas was the manager I was working under while at this other company. He was very knowledgeable and was working a ton of hours. Thomas was also a young guy. At 23 he became the manager of this group and was doing quite well for himself. He had a lot of drive which I really respected.

Since Thomas was there so much, I was able to spend a lot of time with him. He was teaching me the ins and outs of the job which I really appreciated. Although I was learning a lot under Thomas I couldn't help but get a little frustrated towards him. Multiple times I would see Thomas say he would do one thing and then actually do another. Some of these commitments were very small . . . like not showing up on time. Others were very big, where they dealt with a couple thousand dollars in business deals.

These integrity issues were the main reason that I decided against a career change, which caused me to slowly lose touch with Thomas. Despite these issues, I still really liked and cared for the guy.

Last week I found out that Thomas got himself into a lot of trouble. Apparently he was out of the office for 2 weeks without anyone really knowing where he went to. When he came back, looking thin and tired, he told people he was gone on a fishing trip. Turns out that wasn't entirely true. He was actually spending some time with the FBI because he and some other business associates were engaging in illegal business deals. These deals involved nearly 2 million dollars.

Googling Thomas pops up many newspaper articles and government documents that detail exactly what was going down. With me knowing a little bit about the industry Thomas was in, I can see how it is a classic case of "one thing led to another". And now Thomas' decisions are leading to probable jail time and a permanent record. And not the kind of permanent record they tell you about in grade school!

Reflecting on what I now know about Thomas' situation, I can't but think that greed was at the center of his troubles. Proverbs 15:27 says, "A greedy man brings trouble to his family". Thomas has been married about a year now and I'm sure his wife would agree with that verse. Although Thomas has made a ton of money the last couple years, it is all being unraveled by some extremely poor decisions.

In the book, "As a Man Thinketh", it says - "Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance." I had seen Thomas' habits of not keeping his word on small business deals. Those deals turned into bigger deals, and those into even bigger deals. Thomas' bigger deals completed with low integrity turned into indictments by the FBI . . . . his very own solidified circumstance.

Knowing of someone else's troubles in one thing. Learning from them is where the gold is. We can't have thoughts and think they won't affect our actions. And we can't have actions and think they won't have consequences. The challenge for everyone is to focus on our thoughts and make sure we understand that what we think about is what we will eventually, through our actions, achieve.